A New US Capitol

Where I grew up, the county seat, the site of the county government, was located in a town near the geographic center of the county. Seemed like a good plan to me at the time. It still does. Now I realize that when the District of Columbia was hacked out of Maryland and Virginia to serve as the site for our nations capitol, it was pretty much centrally located. A lot has changed since then and I think that it is time for the capitol to be relocated. In years past, I’ve made a couple of trips across this country and recently I’ve been doing some map pondering and I have decided that the new capitol needs to be located near Hoxie, Kansas. Not in the town mind you, but near it. I think that the US seat of government should be moved to a parcel of land located in a cornfield just off US Highway 24, near Hoxie. What with terrorist and all, I think that the capitol should be small so it can be easily defended, say about 100 sq. feet. It should be surrounded with a 20-ft thick, 10-ft tall concrete wall with 3 feet of razor ribbon along the top. The wall needs one 6-foot walk gate that will be locked 24/7 365 and guarded by at least a dozen employees of Homeland Security armed with automatic weapons. A new DNA sample and retina scan should be required each time a government official enters the capitol.

Now since the workings of the US Government are the business of the people, the entire area should be under floodlights all the time. No less than 4 cameras should be trained on the complex and sending continuous real time pictures to 4 new 24 hour a day cable channels, C-Span 3, 4, 5 and 6. One other thing, since this will be the US capitol, I think we should make it the law that ALL business of the various branches of the government must be conducted in this new capitol and that the president, congress, supreme court, et. al. must be in the capital when they do their job. The rest of the country can be turned loose to do pretty much like we please. After all, even if the terrorists get into the country, they will be picked up long before they reach Hoxie. I’ve thought long and hard about this and I believe it is a good start toward curing many of our national problems.