Today, I read in The Daily Reckoning's free daily newsletter that "Since 2001, terrorists have caused fewer deaths in America than allergic reactions to peanut butter. We are awaiting a War on Peanuts...."
Now I know that the author was being facetious but I suddenly remembered reading a few months ago about some school system that had banned products containing peanuts citing risks to students that were allergic to peanuts. I can see it now, first the Surgeon General will demand warning labels on peanuts and peanut butter. Then, every state in the union will file lawsuits against the companies selling peanuts and peanut butter . As soon as those suits are settled, with each state receiving millons of dollars, individuals who are allergic to peanuts will file a federal class action suit to have the government outlaw peanut farming. When the peanut is declared illegal in the USA, all the peanut farmers and peanut industry workers will be forced into the illegal peanut trade. Gober peas will be smuggled in from Mexico and other peanut producing countries. More prisons will have to be built to house the peanut lords and peanut dealers when they are caught. Possession of a pb&j sandwich will result in community service if it is a first offense. Being caught with a big jar of Jif will get you a mandatory sentence of 10 years. A case of crunchy (you know the 'hard stuff') will get you life without possibility of parole.
Sound strange? Sound ridiculous? Look around you, we are already living in bizzaro world. Judging from what I have seen lately, being strange and ridiculous is all the more reason to expect it to happen.
No comments:
Post a Comment