Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Nobody Is Wrong All The Time

But sometimes it seems that I can come pretty damn close. I was just reading an article on al.com and of course since it is football season, it was about football. Actually since it was on al.com it does not make any difference that it is football season cause most al.com articles are about football, 24/7/365. Anyway, after I read the article, I drifted down to the comments prepared to once again be overcome by the stupidity. Well, to my amazement, the comments were lucid and to the point and more amazingly, even though there were comments by both AU and UA fans, the comments were quite civil. This, right after I had just tweeted a few days ago about how all the people posting comments on al.com seemed to be in bred idiots.

That is just one instance but it quickly brought to mind something that happened last night. Linda and I were watching the Braves vs the Marlins and Derrick Lee was up to bat for the Braves. I made the comment that Derrick was having a hard time recently and did not seem to be able to get a hit. The next pitch, he hit a double.

This is not a recent thing with me either. Back when I worked for a living and did a little stock investing on the side I had a co-worker and a supervisor, half jokingly I think, offer to give me $20 if I would tell them which stock I was about to buy just before I bought it. They said they were going to sell it short and make a mint. Who could blame them, at one time I had a record of about a dozen stocks in a row that immediately went down significantly right after I bought them.

I've thought about this and I believe I am prophetic. No I did not say pathetic, I said prophetic. I think that in my mind, there is a little camera that sees into the future, unfortunately it is a old film camera that does its own developing and produces negatives. So, everything I see is upside down and backwards. Kind of explains a lot doesn't it?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Illegal Aliens

Every where I turn lately, I hear or see some one complaining about illegal aliens. I guess I am kind of thick, but I really don't see a lot of problem around here. Granted, they may have some problems out in Arizona and I believe they need to do what they have to do to address their problems, but I don't see much of a problem here in central Alabama. I have challenged a few people about what the problem is and I usually hear one of two things. They are taking our jobs, or we can't afford to pay them welfare and food stamps to live here.

Well, if you see someone that you are pretty certain is an illegal alien and you want the job that he or she is doing, go to their employer and tell them you want that job. When the employer tells you it is filled, go to the suspected illegal alien and tell them you are gonna report them to the INS. If they pull out a green card or a proof of citizenship, apologize and move on. If they turn tail and run, go back to the employer and sign up. Then enjoy your $5 hour weed eating job. Problem one solved.

As far as the welfare and food stamps business goes, it is not the fault of the illegal alien for taking the government subsidies, it is the fault of the government for paying them to begin with. If you don't like that an illegal alien is getting government benefits then complain to your man or woman in Montgomery. If they stop it fine, if they don't vote them out and vote someone in that will. Problem two solved.

If there are other problems that I am unaware of feel free to bring them to my attention.

Weak Points

My daddy, who was a mechanic all his life, used to say that every vehicle ever made had a weak point. Some part or system that did not perform as well or last as long as the rest of the vehicle. One of his stories revolved around a situation that came up because of such a weak point.

Back in 1959, he was running a little garage in Stewartville. A young man of the community came to him and told him that he was going to build up a hot rod and wanted to know if my dad had a good V8 engine that he would sell him cheap. My dad told him that he did in fact have an V8 engine from a 1955 Buick that he would let him have for $50. Now this was when Coca Colas were still 5 cents so $50 was not a small amount of money, but it was much less than what the young man expected to pay. He asked my dad what was wrong with it? Nothing, there is just not any demand for them. The boy was skeptical and did not buy the engine. My dad said that the reason there was no demand for them was that they would run forever. Unfortunately they were coupled to Dyna-Flo transmissions which were not so robust. The transmission was the weak point on the 55 Buick and a good transmission was what everyone was searching for, they already had a good engine. My Dad always finished the story by saying that if he had asked $200 for the engine, the boy would have bought it.

As I have gotten older, I have decided that cars are an appropriate metaphor for all things in the universe, including people. We all have our weak points. Fortunately in most cases, the weak points offset each other. I may be good in math, you may be good in the arts, someone else has a talent for cooking. It all kind of works out most of the time.

However, there is one weak point that seems to afflict a majority of our species. It is the desire for complexity. Look around you. Everywhere you look you will see people dedicating their lives to making things increasingly complex. Ultimately all things touched by human hands reach a level of complexity that is unworkable, unsustainable and they ultimately collapse. In some cases the collapse comes quickly. VCRs for instance had already become completely impossible to program before DVD players came along and put them out of their misery. In other instances the rigging and iterations drag on for centuries. Most governments and many religions fall into that category.

Don't despair though, just as the DVD replaced the unprogramable VCR, so to will other devices and systems replace all the current ones that are becoming overly complicated. Of course as soon as these new simple systems arrive on the scene, the majority will set about to complicate them as quickly and completely as is possible. Such seems to be our nature.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Most People Don't Read

I went to Mule Day in Winfield this weekend. I set up there each year and sell surplus camo pants and shirts and various other items I have accumulated over the years. Northwest Alabama seems to have been hit by hard times long before the bust of 2008. Every year I hear of new plant closings in NE Ala. At one time, it was typical for me to take in enough money at Mule Day to cover my expenses for several weeks. One year I even had enough to go a long way toward buying Christmas. Now, things are not as good. I am lucky if I make my space rent and gas money. If I did not already have my inventory paid for, I could not afford to go. A good business man probably wouldn't go anyway, but I've never been accused of being a good business man.

This year I decided I was gonna try something radical. I was going to sell every item I had for $5.00 each. Mind you some of this stuff cost me more than $5.00 but I wanted to generate some business. Besides, it isn't doing me any good sitting in storage collecting dust. Better $5.00 in my pocket than a dust catcher on a rack. This was a radical departure from what I have done in the past. One or two years I had put individual price tags on all items, that was a nightmare. Most years I have had a price list for the various sizes like $9.00 for smalls, $12.00 for mediums and $15.00 for larges.

I knew going in that people were not going to be ready for one price fits all, but it works for the dollar store, why not for me? I created six signs. Two of them said "All items on Hangers $5.00", three had "$5" covering the entire sign and one said "Pants $5.00, Shirts $5.00, Tees $5.00, Coats $5.00". In spite of having these six signs placed strategically around the booth, about half the folks came up to me and said something like "how much for your pants?"

One guy stopped in front of my "Pants $5.00, Shirts $5.00, Tees $5.00, Coats $5.00" sign, read it out loud, looked at me and grinned and said wouldn't it just be easier to say everything $5. I pointed him to the two signs that said just that and laughed. Then I told him that even with all those signs I still get folks asking how much for a certain item. Maybe I am wrong, maybe people do read, they just don't believe what they are reading.

As for the results of my new sales tactic, I did take in more money this year than I did in 2009 but after I cover my space rent and gas, I won't be taking any Caribbean cruises with what is left.

College Football

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (King James Version) says "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" To my way of thinking, the time for the purpose of playing college football is 1:30 PM on a Saturday afternoon in the Fall of the year.

When I was growing up I was told that "there is a time and place for everything." We've already covered the time for playing college football, as to the place, it should be a field of grass with surrounding seating to accommodate the spectators.

Hopefully the day will be bright and clear with a slight bit of a nip in the air and a few leaves falling in the road as you drive to the game. However, that is not a requirement. It can also be hot or cloudy or rainy or cold enough for hog killin'. All are permissible, just not desirable.

As a point of personal preference, I think the absolute best place for a college football game is located at 32.602256, -85.489138. There is the slight possibility that some others might feel differently.

My Home Phone Number

When I moved to Pelham in 1978, I got a new phone number. I say new, in fact it was new to me but it was the same number that the previous resident had. I never did understand that, as I thought that the phone company always held those numbers back for six months. Anyway, for years after I first moved here, I got calls intended for the Rev. Williams that had lived here. Eventually I guess the word got around and I stopped receiving his calls.

Time past, things changed and before you know it cell phones came on the scene. I was on my third or fourth cell phone with about as many carriers when I decided that I no longer needed a home phone. Sources smarter than I am insisted that it would be a shame for me to give up my home phone number that I had for so many years. I compromised and rolled it out to a VOIP carrier. After a couple of years, the carrier folded and I rolled it to another VOIP carrier. This summer I got an email from that second carrier saying that they too were going out of business.

Over the years, fewer and fewer of my friends and relatives call me on my home phone. In fact, fewer and fewer of them call me at all, but that is another matter that primarily revolves around the grim reaper. So, when this latest VOIP carrier folded, it would have been an opportune time to let the old phone number go. I was about ready to do just that when I remembered that I had a Pageplus prepaid phone that I use in areas where my regular cell phone carrier does not work. Why not just roll the old home number to the prepaid cell. Yeah, that's the ticket. So, that is what I did.

The VOIP phone usually went directly to voice mail but the prepaid cell is set up to ring 4 or 5 times and then go to voice mail. It sits here on my desk and when it rings, I see the caller id. I had been aware that I got a lot of telemarketer calls from looking at the VOIP log, but now that the number is right here before me, I have started checking the calls as they come in and actually programming a name into the cell to associate with these calls. So now when I get a call I look down and see, Scam, GiftCard Scam, Telemarketer, Security Sys, etc.

One of these days, when I am sufficiently satisfied that no one that I know is ever going to call me on the old number, I'll let it go. In the meantime it is interesting to see the diversity of scammers and telemarketers that are in operation. It almost reminds me of the good old days of identifying DX stations on a shortwave radio.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Tax Cuts

I never saw a tax cut I did not like. I don't care it if only affects the richest 1 percent of the population, I'm for it. Why? Because any tax dollar that is not collected is a tax dollar that some shithead bureaucrat can't use to make life worse for us citizens. Every time I make a statement like that I always encounter someone who says something like, "oh, we have to collect taxes so we can have roads, schools, health care, head start , medicare, an army, navy, police, firemen, etc, etc, etc."

I for one think that very little of what the government does could not be done better by someone else, but I'll play the silly game. Ok, we got to have some tax money for a few pet projects. Why not use the approach of the former president of the company where I worked. The story goes that he was telling some of his subordinates that there had to be a reduction of personnel. They were pissing and moaning about how they could not do the job with less people and service would be affected. He is supposed to have said, ok, lay off people until the lights blink (it was an electrical utility) and then hire that last person you laid off back.

Why don't we do that with taxes. Start reducing and keep reducing until something important suffers. I don't mean until we have to cut funding for the arts so some guy can't get his funds to make a statue covered in urine. I mean cut taxes and spending until something really important is affected, then raise them back enough to cover that project.

And, don't let the bureaucrats do the cutting. They always pick out things like parks, libraries, other stuff that people actually get some good out of and close them to increase the pain level and make people want to put things back like they were. No, put together a citizens oversight committee and let them determine what government programs to de-fund and the order for cutting them off. One other stipulation, no one that is receiving money from the government could serve on the committee.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bank Signs

I was riding down Hwy 31 this morning and noticed that there was a sign crew changing the sign in front of the Wachovia bank to a Wells Fargo sign. Seems like it was only a couple of years ago that the same sign was a Southtrust sign and they were changing it to a Wachovia sign. Maybe that is because it really was only a couple of years ago.

Back in the late 1940's or early 1950's, my parents went over to Alexander City and opened an account with the Alexander City Bank. At the time, Rockford did not have a bank. The two that were there before the depression, folded during the depression and no one bothered to open a new one after the depression ended. Even when a new bank opened in Rockford in the late 1960's my folks kept their account with the Alexander City Bank. By that time they had a really good working relationship with the Alexander City Bank folks and saw no reason to change. Some time in the 1990's, I think, bank deregulation came along an big banks started buying little banks. Southtrust bought the Alexander City Bank and made it a Southtrust branch. Along with the change came a big new expensive looking sign. Then a few years back, Southtrust went toes up and Wachovia took them over compliments of the FDIC or some such. VoilĂ , up pops a new expensive looking sign with Wachovia's name on it. Now all the Wachovias are becoming Wells Fargos with more new expensive looking signs.

I've got an idea. I know that banks are kinda stretched for funds right now so maybe rather that spending all that money for fancy new signs, maybe they should just get one of those rent-a-signs. You know the kind, arrow across the top with flashing lights, white plastic panels with black moveable letters. I am sure that the monthly rental on one of those would be a lot cheaper than these fancy new signs they are putting in place. Especially here in central Alabama where there used to be a beaucoup of them until the law closed all the bingo parlors down. Those signs are probably languishing in someones storage yard and they would likely rent them real cheap. Who knows, the banks might even be able to come up with enough money to buy them outright.

Yep, put up the portable sign, then, in six months when Citi or Bank of America or whoever the hell else it is that buys them out or takes over their failed assests comes along, all they will have to do is re-arrange the black plastic letters to the new banks name. Save themselves and their investors a lot of money. I realize that it will hurt the sign companies a little bit, but there are enough other businesses failing and new ones taking their place that I think the sign companies will have enough business to get by.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Captain Tolley's Creeping Crack Cure

I could not remember whether or not I had written about this before so I did a search of this blog and did not come up with anything so...

I don't know about you but during my life time, I have been tormented by leaks. The house at Pentonville has a roof leak in one of the back bedrooms that defies all attempts at repair. My folks house at Slickhill had its share of leaks and I have had them here and also in the GMC motorhome that I used to own. I've caulked, tarred, siliconed and who know what all else with limited success.

When I bought my current truck camper, the guy that I got it from said that one of the things he did every year was to recaulk the seams. I got some 3M 5200 and used it on three or four places and it worked great but I still had one leak on the dinette seat that I could not stop. Water was seeping in where it attached to the wall. I worked and worked with it to no avail. I finally decided that the window was to blame. I resealed around the gasket with black silicone and it helped but I still had a leak. Then one day I was reading on one of the RV forums and someone mentioned Captain Tolley's Creeping Crack Cure. At first I though it was some kind of joke but someone else responded that they too had used it to stop a troublesome leak. I did some googling and found that it did exist. It is an english product that was originally developed to seal hairline cracks in sailboats. It is pricey at $19.00 for 8 ounces, but I had spent a lot more than that in total with marginal results so I ordered a bottle.

It smells like latex paint and looks like skim milk. You pour it on in a fine bead. In the places where it disappears capillary action has drawn it in to the leak. You just keep applying it every 30 minutes of so until none is drawn in. I did that on my camper window and it worked like a charm. It has been several months and numerous hard rains since I first used it and the camper has not leaked a drop. This stuff is great and I don't intend to ever be without a bottle of it again. If you have a troublesome leak and everything else has failed, try Captain Tolley's Creeping Crack Cure. It sure worked for me.