Why Do Jews and Muslims Fight?

Every once in awhile I will get into a conversation with someone from “around here” and invariably the topic of conversation will drift on to the Middle East. We usually end up agreeing that “them folks” have been fighting since dirt was new and will be fighting right down to the end of time. The other day, I got to thinking about it and asked myself “why is that?” Well, I think that I have come up with the reason. This reason I’ve come up with is pretty simple, and you may ask yourself, why has no one thought of that before. Just remember, we often overlook the simple solutions because it just don’t seem right that seemingly complex problems can have simple solutions. One reason I think we have missed the solution is that we are always concentrating on the differences between Jews and Muslims. That is not were the problem is. The problem stems from something they have in common. They don’t eat pork. Yeah, that is all there is to it. They fight because they are mad as hell and they are made as hell cause they can’t eat pork. Of course they don’t know that is why they are mad, but it is. They are kind of like two cats eating peacefully side by side at a bowl of food. If you walk up and grab their tails and start mashing them, they will begin to squall and cry and pretty soon they will stop eating and begin fighting each other. Now they really are not mad at each other but they are mad so they lash out at the closet thing to them.

Some of you may question if not eating pork would be sufficient to cause people to kill each other. I think you are missing the point. It is not so much that not eating pork will make you want to be a suicide bomber as it is that eating pork will prevent you from wanting to kill. Anyone who has just walked out of Dreamland after eating a slab of ribs, a half a loaf of white bread and drinking a couple of Coca Colas or a big glass of sweet tea will tell you that the last thing on their mind is killing anyone. What they probably want more than any thing else is to take a long nap. Could it be that there is some hidden chemical in BBQ that soothes human beings?

Well that’s the answer to why they fight, so what is the solution to get them to stop? I don’t know. Both groups think that pork is unclean so you are not likely to get them to start eating it. If that soothing chemical exists, maybe some chemist can isolate it, produce it synthetically (no pork involved) and start putting it in the Middle East’s water supply. I’m afraid that until they do, the Jews and Muslims are still gonna continue to dispatch each other to the next life with gruesome efficiency.