Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

During the last couple of days I've received a two part email from Joke of the Day with explanations for why the chicken crossed the road. I can't figure out how to link to the information so I am re-posting it here. If you are the copyright holder and object, let me know and I will delete this post. Otherwise, enjoy.
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road - Part One...

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road - Part Two...

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released e-Chicken2007< /B>(c), which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ...reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens
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I noticed for some reason, the PAT BUCHANAN joke got posted in both emails, maybe they like him more :>)

In case you are not signed up for Joke of the Day, you can do so here. They will spam you a little, but some of the jokes are really funny and it often helps to brighten up my day so I suppose it is worth it.

Be Of Good Cheer ...

While we probably will never see gasoline under $2.00 again, this article from telegraph.co.uk indicates that things may be getting a little better before too long.

Walter Williams on Environmental Predictions

This article by Walter Williams looks at some of the environmental predictions of the past century. In the last paragraph he mentions that the greenhouse gases are 95% water vapor.

Stands to reason since 70% of the earths surface is covered by water. If we completely eliminate all the auto exhaust and cow farts, we would still have significant and very important greenhouse gases. If we double our output of manmade gases they will still be puny when compared to the total.

As a man thinketh, so is he

Once again, it is as if Charley Reese had climbed into my head, extracted exactly how I feel and eloquently put it into words.

It is official, I am not cheap!

Linda recently called it to my attention that some of my friends say I am cheap. She did not agree with them, but none the less, they say I am cheap. Tonight I found this test online and took it. I scored 22. By that standard, not only am I not cheap, I am not even frugal, just careful with my spending habits. So take that friends :>)

And, in case you are wondering, I answered all of the questions truthfully.

What I Believe and What I Know

I believe that I am Right.

I Know that I could be Wrong.